we're just a family of finches making our way in the town w/o a frown.

Friday, May 17, 2013

i don't know where i belong

as a sahm i sometimes feel overwhelmed by the amount of things that need to be finished daily. there is the laundry, dishes, cooking, cleaning and loving on the wee ones. i usually find myself more concerned with the loving and playing than on the rest, and this results in a messy house.  we have the kids help with the house and Saturday is "cleaning day". i know as a kid our house was immaculate, and it was because my brother and i kept it that way. i don't want my kids to feel the way about housework that i do, so i tend to want to help them make it more enjoyable.  generally housework results in bad attitudes and fighting because "________ isn't helping and that's not fair".  I'm curious about how the rest of you help to build relationships between the kiddos. i have lots of friends who are extremely close to their siblings and i have to admit I'm a bit jealous. i want my kids to have those bonds because i don't. it is one of the rare instances that I'm attempting to "live through my kids". i want them to cherish family and have family to cherish. this is one of the big reasons we moved back "home". we would love large family dinners and grilling. it hasn't worked out the way we had hoped.

 sisters should love each other right? these two crack me up when they get to laughing and playing together and it gives me hope that perhaps there is a chance of friendship.

q is such a great big brother. i had put sprout's hair into pigtails and monkey got to calling her the love bug, she had a love bug on the front of her dress and the antennae looked just like the pigtails. q decided he too wanted to be a love bug, so there you have it. the princess is laughing in the background because it really was quite comical to see.

the kids love being outside and they love helping with our plants. when our first set of roses bloomed they were huge. q thought they smelled super pretty.

monkey has played all the sports this year and tennis seems to have been her favorite. she and her partner took 1st place at district in doubles.  i got myself a racket so that we can practice over the summer. i think i may get rackets and balls for the little ones as well so they can go whack around while we practice.

this past month I've really been struggling with a lot of things. questioning myself and my choices. i fall into self doubt most when my kids act like, well kids. q is so busy and rambunctious, and i find myself wondering if school will be an absolute nightmare for him. he doesn't like to sit still for long, at all, and I'm hoping that we can work on it over the summer and next year. i wonder what I've done "wrong" or not done at all. i see other little boys who are so "well behaved", or at least they appear to be. i understand that all kids are different and he's 100% boy. i think that adding more schedule will help us all out, so let the fun begin.


Leah of RamFam said...

I am also jealous of close sibling relationships. One reason we home educate is to build stronger relationships. Bit I'm not exactly sure how to limit the fighting. I try to get one on one with each and put different pairs together to play. And keeping them busy if they are bickering. And giving each their way to shine: sports or scouts or academics, etc.

mzzterry said...

Not sure exactly *how* this advice will help you, but it is my mantra for parenting....."choose your battles". This served me well in bringing up my kids.

With chores we made a contract every summer.....It laid out the things they were to do & what the consequences would be if they didn't fulfill the contract. It included behavior & fighting too. We all signed it & hung it on the fridge.

I also learned that when you explain to kids what you expect of them they usually live up to it. Praise is much better than "punishment" when helping your kids to grow to be God loving, beautiful & unique people.