Thursday, December 20, 2012
i have read several comments that "kids with those problems should be monitored" or "people with those kinds of disorders should be put away". really? what problems are those exactly? the news is throwing out that it was his "aspergers" that made him react that way. excuse me? I've known several kids who are on the autism spectrum and now I'm pissed that anyone would imply they need to be "monitored or locked up". do any of you know that is what Hitler did, yep i went there. he seemed to think if weren't perfect, his definition of perfection, then you didn't deserve to live. I'm sorry i can't go there. life is beautiful and the thought that a child should be locked up because there brain functions differently than yours enrages me. did the killer show sociopathic tendencies, maybe, but i once had a teacher use me as an example in front of the entire class as a sociopath. he seemed to think i was a classic case of one and he probably wasn't too far off the mark. i believe truly that each person chooses who we are. we can choose to give in to the past that wants to keep us evil, or we can find the peace that passes understanding and move forward. that's right i just put God in the mix.
i truly believe "that but by the grace of God go i." I've read the statistics of what i should be according to studies and psychology. the picture isn't pretty. a child of divorce that was raised in an abusive home that was abandoned at a critical time in her life. yeah, the odds were completely against me, but God had bigger plans. i raise my kids to know Him and i truly believe that if the world would take the focus off of "me, me, me" and "want, want, want" that we could change it. I'm often asked why we have so many kids, we only have 4, and my response is "i think that it is important to fill the world with intelligent Christians". I'm trying to put light into a very dark world. what if all parents spent a little more time hugging their kids instead of turning on the electric babysitters. what if we raised our sons to be gentlemen and our daughters to be ladies? what if we truly focused on our marriages and our families? the best way we can honor those lives lost in Connecticut is to raise our children in God's love. raise them to see the world through His eyes. raise them to be thankful for all the blessings we have.
i know that was quite a tirade, but i needed to get it out of my brain. i kept trying to type out my thankful list and it just wouldn't come. I'm feeling better for clearing my head, so if you are still with me and not wanting to string me up-then please feel free to join me for some thankfulness.
I AM THANKFUL FOR:
1. the ability to speak my mind- i am grateful that i live somewhere that i can speak freely about God and my faith. there are many who are put to death for such a thing
2. love- i am thankful for the love that God felt for me to send his son for me.
3. my family- i am thankful that i am so blessed with the love that they give me.
4. freedom- to live how i choose and worship how i choose
5. friendship- especially those that pray for me so regularly
6. my hubby- tomorrow we will celebrate 14 years marriage
7. my health- I'm getting healthier by the day and i am glad that God has given me the opportunity to do so
8. cool weather- it is finally cool here
9. hot tea- warms me up inside and out
10. the ability to cook- tomorrow we will buy everything needed for the tamale feast for Christmas
i am thankful that i get to share my love of Christ with all who read this
Tuesday, December 18, 2012
that's an important part for me. i am a perfectionist and i want to be the best at everything i do. this may come with time, but it will not be a quick thing. it will take me time, energy, and the willpower to keep going. will there be days that i want to quit, oh yeah, and that's when my cheerleaders will cheer their loudest. yeah, i called in my friends to keep me going. they are an amazing group capable of great things, so I'm glad they've agreed to take up cheering me on. I've really been trying to keep positive about myself while reshaping and retraining my body and mind. i didn't get to be where i am over night, nor should i expect to get where i want to be overnight. instead of saying "I'm so fat and this is too hard", I'm shouting "i just need to retrain myself to choose better."
Sunday afternoon i did a 30 minute yoga workout that i got from walmart on DVD. it has 2 programs flow and hatha. i did the the hatha program and was amazed at how much i liked it. i felt so relaxed and limber. i have never done yoga before, so i wasn't really sure what to expect. I'm excited about doing the flow program tomorrow. I'm trying not to "over work" my body, but at the same time keep it in motion so it doesn't lock up. i decided to take yesterday as a "rest" day as recommended and woke up barely able to walk today. yeah, that's not going to work if i need to chase down little sweeties.
today i went for day 2 of "retraining" and i walked a lap before my "instructor" arrived. when she got there the real fun began. we did a 3 minute walk and then we (ran 1 minute, walked 1 minute) 10 times. wow that keep running business is tough. when i finished i was 1 tired girl, but i did it. i didn't stop, not once, which is pretty good for a pre-beginner such as me. i plan on meeting a friend for a good walk tomorrow and then Thursday back to the track for retraining. i am noticing little changes already, like junk food doesn't look as appealing as it did last Tuesday. I'm drinking LOTS of fluids. oh yeah, i weighed myself this morning and I've lost 5 pounds. i know, I'm a bit blown away. i completely expected to put on weight before it began to drop off.
again i say thanks for keeping up with me, i hope to do this every "track star Tuesday". I'm loving the motivation to be healthier.
mile 14 minutes 55 seconds
Thursday, December 13, 2012
Friday, September 21, 2012
i am aware that i have an extreme hesitance to ask for help. i am always willing to ask for prayer, which is an amazing help, but physical showing up help- not so much. we were discussing this at church on Wednesday and we were discussing why that is. i am usually at the front of the line to offer help when needed/wanted, but it doesn't occur to me to ask for physical help until the deed is finished.
I'm sure you can deduce that we didn't ask for help with the move. it didn't occur to us that we really needed help. finch and i could lift the heavy stuff and the kids had a blast "helping" carry all the little things. there we many reasons discussed as to why we lack the capacity to ask for aid. it was suggested that it was our pride that gets in the way. i will agree that my pride kept me from wanting anyone near the apartment we were living in. i think a huge part of our problem is that we just don't like people, any people, handling our things. i don't like people touching my things, think the golem from lotr. i know mine stems from living in a children's home as a child. i am willing to share with others, but only when i offer it. feel free to dig through my kitchen cabinets and fondle the yarn and craft books, but please don't go through my personal things. i don't even like my dearest of friends going through my things.
when i spent last summer packing in happy, i didn't ask for any help other than some company. i don't think that my mess is any one's chore but my own, so why would i subject people i love to that insanity. funny enough we did think to call and ask if people were available to help with the kiddos. we weren't sure who would be able to handle all 4 of them at once, so we just included them in the fun. i had a friend in happy that i would ask for help regularly when i needed a sitter for the kiddos, but i just don't ask that often. at the time she only had to keep the princess and q. i should mention her daughter and princess were the best of friends at school. my dear friend pattylicious was always my go to when i needed help, but now she's beyond the distance available to help.
i understand my hesitation for asking for help, i have a few trust issues, but my sweet hubby is not known to ask for help either. he says a good part of his is that he just doesn't know anybody here that he trusts enough to ask for help. i know that i don't like to feel as though I'm beholden to anyone and very often when you ask for help that is exactly what happens. "oh hey, you remember that time i helped you, so now could you do ...." if i help i do so because i want to not because I'm obligated to. so i guess I'm just curious if anyone else struggles with asking for help.
Tuesday, August 14, 2012
my darling monkey was inducted into njhs. I'm so proud of the woman she's becoming. she is so smart and so funny. she is also the "defender of the weak", even when she could easily be one of the "cool" kids. many a day she came home upset because the popular/cool kids were picking on a girl, so she defended the girl and was rewarded with the ire of the other kids. i love her so much and i hope she always feels the need to stick up for the underdog.
Thursday, April 19, 2012
I AM THANKFUL FOR:
1. sisterly love- they had so much fun at blackbeard's on our trip to corpus during the short Easter break
2. good clean fun- the state aquarium has a new splash pad and the kids LOVE it. q was especially fond of the water cannons
8. humor- only in texas will you find a drive thru liquor and gun store. we drive past this sign on our way to and from the beach.
Thursday, January 26, 2012
I AM THANKFUL FOR:
1. my sweet monkey: she compete in 2 events this year for UIL. she won 1st in both of the events.
2. church family- we joined the local baptist church a few weeks back. what an amazing group of people . they have been so kind and inclusive the moment we began attending. they have welcomed us in and showered us with kindness. i am so thankful for this group.
3. friends- my sweet friend pattylicous made a trip down to visit and we had such a great time. sprout was particularly fond of her and had many wonderful conversations with her.
4. baby giggles- yes she is already smiling and giggling. she finds her siblings to be particularly funny
5. handmade goodness- pattylicous made this beautiful blankey for sprout. she loves her blankey.
9. girl time- one thing the girls can agree on is that sprout needs lots of love and snuggles.
Thursday, January 19, 2012
I AM THANKFUL FOR:
1. big brothers- he is such a big helper and loves his sister so much already.
2. my hubby- he has been so helpful and i can hardly wait to see what the new year has in store for us.
3. snuggles- there has been A LOT of snuggling going on in the house the past few weeks
4. laughter- there has also been A LOT of laughing in our house the past few weeks.
5. church family- we have found a wonderful group of believers who have taken us in and welcomed us as family. some of the members watched the kiddos for us while i was at the hospital having sprout. the kids loved the bath at gigi's and grumpy's house
6. moving forward- the Lord is moving in our lives and pushing us forward to greater things. i can see where he has been opening doors and putting people in our path. i am so excited to see what he has in store for this year.
7. sisterly love- i have friends who are super close to their sisters, and i have to admit I'm a bit jealous. my sister and i are not close and we never have been. i pray daily that my girls will be friends as they grow.
8. baby noises- the sweet sounds that new babies make are truly gifts from God.
9. our sweet lil sprout- she was born at 7:57 am on 1-1-12. she weighed a tiny 7 pounds 11 ounces and was 18 1/2 inches long. it was love at first sight.
10. the grace of God- He has showered me and my family with it and i am so thankful for His love, grace and mercy.
i hope that this year brings blessings and joy to you.