oh yes, i'm the great pretender

I've been doing a lot of internal debate the last few weeks about what makes a "good" christian. i don't pretend to be perfect cause let's face it the only perfect person got nailed to a cross and had a horrible painful death, no thanks. i do try my best to live by the standards that He set forth, but hey i am human. i will stumble. i will fall. does that make me any less of a christian? does being human suddenly make you incapable of being a christian? i ask these things because my Christianity was recently brought into question, and i have to admit it pissed me off pretty bad. i have tried to keep a very positive and christian air to my blog. i don't actively preach my beliefs on here, but I've tried very hard to keep this a happy place. that is one reason it sometimes takes me a while to blog. i don't want to air dirty laundry over the internet. my mom and granny taught me that "if you don't have anything nice to say...don't say anything at all." i have really struggled to become a more positive person over the last ten years, some of you know what a struggle this really is. did i mention that i have the funk again. well it is Thursday and that means it is time for a thankful list. I AM THANKFUL FOR:

1. friends- i didn't expect all of the sweet wonderful things you guys posted in my comments last week. WOW, you guys really bolstered my self esteem, thanks. I'm not sure what i would do with out you guys.

2. prayer- it is an amazingly powerful tool that we have.

3. angel food ministries- can't stop singing their praises. good food way cheap.

4. forgiveness- it is for the forgiver not the forgiven.

5. nail polish- hey i haven't chewed my nails in over a month, and my hands look so pretty.

6. make up- the hubby took me to ulta and bought me an insane amount of way cool makeup. i have felt so pretty the last two weeks. there's nothing like purple glitter liquid eyeliner to make a girl feel special.

7. hot tea- it helps me to almost be able to breathe. i said almost

8. belly dancing- i had an absolute blast Monday night. Q really seemed to enjoy it too. my legs, abs and butt were so sore on Tuesday. then i would start coughing and i thought i would die my abs hurt so bad. i can hardly wait for next Monday.

9. good beer- yeah, i haven't had any recently, but sitting in my den is a 5 gallon jug of it brewing up. I'll get to enjoy it this summer i hear.

10. good music- i have always loved music. all kinds of music. i have a mix CD in the minivan that has everything from Chopin to buck cherry to clint black. i just like music. the title of today's blog is from one of my favorite songs. i always thought it fit me so well. "pretending that I'm doing well. my need is such i pretend too much. I'm lonely but no one can tell." I'm glad that isn't true anymore. i don't feel the need to pretend.

i hope that everyone has a magnificent weekend. if i don't feel better it looks like it will be another week without pizza night. i don't think I'm contagious, but I'd rather be safe than sorry. so what are you thankful for this week? getting rid of the old and bringing in the new? a shopping trip? friends and family that love and adore you? take a minute to think about it. have a great weekend.