we're just a family of finches making our way in the town w/o a frown.

Thursday, January 29, 2009

oh yes, i'm the great pretender

I've been doing a lot of internal debate the last few weeks about what makes a "good" christian. i don't pretend to be perfect cause let's face it the only perfect person got nailed to a cross and had a horrible painful death, no thanks. i do try my best to live by the standards that He set forth, but hey i am human. i will stumble. i will fall. does that make me any less of a christian? does being human suddenly make you incapable of being a christian? i ask these things because my Christianity was recently brought into question, and i have to admit it pissed me off pretty bad. i have tried to keep a very positive and christian air to my blog. i don't actively preach my beliefs on here, but I've tried very hard to keep this a happy place. that is one reason it sometimes takes me a while to blog. i don't want to air dirty laundry over the internet. my mom and granny taught me that "if you don't have anything nice to say...don't say anything at all." i have really struggled to become a more positive person over the last ten years, some of you know what a struggle this really is. did i mention that i have the funk again. well it is Thursday and that means it is time for a thankful list. I AM THANKFUL FOR:

1. friends- i didn't expect all of the sweet wonderful things you guys posted in my comments last week. WOW, you guys really bolstered my self esteem, thanks. I'm not sure what i would do with out you guys.

2. prayer- it is an amazingly powerful tool that we have.

3. angel food ministries- can't stop singing their praises. good food way cheap.

4. forgiveness- it is for the forgiver not the forgiven.

5. nail polish- hey i haven't chewed my nails in over a month, and my hands look so pretty.

6. make up- the hubby took me to ulta and bought me an insane amount of way cool makeup. i have felt so pretty the last two weeks. there's nothing like purple glitter liquid eyeliner to make a girl feel special.

7. hot tea- it helps me to almost be able to breathe. i said almost

8. belly dancing- i had an absolute blast Monday night. Q really seemed to enjoy it too. my legs, abs and butt were so sore on Tuesday. then i would start coughing and i thought i would die my abs hurt so bad. i can hardly wait for next Monday.

9. good beer- yeah, i haven't had any recently, but sitting in my den is a 5 gallon jug of it brewing up. I'll get to enjoy it this summer i hear.

10. good music- i have always loved music. all kinds of music. i have a mix CD in the minivan that has everything from Chopin to buck cherry to clint black. i just like music. the title of today's blog is from one of my favorite songs. i always thought it fit me so well. "pretending that I'm doing well. my need is such i pretend too much. I'm lonely but no one can tell." I'm glad that isn't true anymore. i don't feel the need to pretend.

i hope that everyone has a magnificent weekend. if i don't feel better it looks like it will be another week without pizza night. i don't think I'm contagious, but I'd rather be safe than sorry. so what are you thankful for this week? getting rid of the old and bringing in the new? a shopping trip? friends and family that love and adore you? take a minute to think about it. have a great weekend.


Rosemond said...

Sister, I think that your faith is between you and God! Share it when you should, but never let anyone undermine it! Try to love them even though they hack you off! =) And, for the record, I think that in our weakness, He is most able to work in us! So from one down and dirty sinner to another, keep on keepin' on...God will get the glory!

sweetflutterbys3 said...

When you are attacked for being a Christian, it means you are doing it right! I like when you mention your faith. It's refreshing. I'm a Christian too and it's a hard topic to bring up. Seems it's always under attack. Your blog is a great one. Don't let them tell you different.

I'm so thankful for my health. I had some trouble with some meds I was taking and now I'm on something better. Whew! What a bad trip.

I hope you get to have pizza night. I'll say a prayer you feel better soon.

Living on the Spit said...

I like Buck Cherry as well..that one song is what my kid's call my theme song! the one about the crazy woman...the are comedians.

I think your perfect just the way you are.

Love ya.