we're just a family of finches making our way in the town w/o a frown.

Monday, June 25, 2007

the keeper of the future

sanctum: a place where one is free from intrusion.

i awoke this morning to the cooing of my youngest child. if you have never heard this it is wonderful. then after i put her down for her morning nap, her sister awoke. as i sat watching her read a book it occurred to me that i am the keeper of the future. what can i teach these innocent little girls that will help them when i can no longer keep them safe? am i even capable of such a job? i never really wanted children until two months into marriage i found that i was pregnant. the commercials on tv show the happy, crying mother when she sees the little blue lines. i was the sobbing hysterical mother because i didn't know what i was going to do. in the eight years that have passed since that horrible scene, i have become more comfortable in my role. however, from time to time i realize that there is no amount of preparation or study that can prepare you for this job. there are days that i love being a housewife, and there are days that i would give my right arm to work outside the home. the word of the day is because i have discovered that i really no longer have a sanctum. there is no place that my girls can't find me, and then i realized that i am comfortable with the predicament. i wouldn't trade this for anything. i hold the future in my hands, and i am responsible for giving them the building blocks with which they will build their lives. suddenly my job seems like so much more than dishes and laundry. food for thought in the words of Lady Mary Wortley Montagu: I despise the pleasure of pleasing people that i despise. many of you know that my chosen profession has not pleased many people that know me. this quote is for them. hope everyone has a great week.


Pattylicious said...

Oh my gosh. I think that this is by far the greatest thing that you have ever written. It made my heart jump. That was beautiful. I love you and your fam. and you don't how glad I am (really) that our kids are the future.


And you learn that they aren't intrusions, but true admirations.