what is love? baby don't hurt me, no more

this past week a terrible tragedy struck in a small town in Connecticut. 20 small children were taken to heaven. it struck a nerve for me because i have a little girl, princess, who is the same age as those children. I'm going to sound callous for a moment, please read til the end before you knickers get completely knotted up. how many children die every day from starvation world wide? how many die at their parents hands? how many sweet lives are stopped before they even take a breath? how many children are murdered in the war torn areas of the world? and why don't we mourn for them? where is our outrage over their little lives being snuffed out? do we as Americans feel this more because it "could have been our kid"? the hubby and i have been discussing this quite a bit since the shooting on Friday. I'm not trying to down grade what happened because it is horrific. what i wonder is...if we became outraged over all the innocents that die could we do more for the world. if we learned from what is going on all over the world could we change it? there have been a lot of misrepresentations on the news about the man responsible for this atrocious act. i have to say i am outraged about the way his mother has been depicted on the news. is she not a victim of this too? did she not lose her life too? how do we know she didn't try to stop him? do any of us really want to think our children are capable of something like this?

i have read several comments that "kids with those problems should be monitored" or "people with those kinds of disorders should be put away". really? what problems are those exactly? the news is throwing out that it was his "aspergers" that made him react that way. excuse me? I've known several kids who are on the autism spectrum and now I'm pissed that anyone would imply they need to be "monitored or locked up". do any of you know that is what Hitler did, yep i went there. he seemed to think if weren't perfect, his definition of perfection, then you didn't deserve to live. I'm sorry i can't go there. life is beautiful and the thought that a child should be locked up because there brain functions differently than yours enrages me. did the killer show sociopathic tendencies, maybe, but i once had a teacher use me as an example in front of the entire class as a sociopath. he seemed to think i was a classic case of one and he probably wasn't too far off the mark. i believe truly that each person chooses who we are. we can choose to give in to the past that wants to keep us evil, or we can find the peace that passes understanding and move forward. that's right i just put God in the mix.

i truly believe "that but by the grace of God go i." I've read the statistics of what i should be according to studies and psychology. the picture isn't pretty. a child of divorce that was raised in an abusive home that was abandoned at a critical time in her life. yeah, the odds were completely against me, but God had bigger plans. i raise my kids to know Him and i truly believe that if the world would take the focus off of "me, me, me" and "want, want, want" that we could change it. I'm often asked why we have so many kids, we only have 4, and my response is "i think that it is important to fill the world with intelligent Christians". I'm trying to put light into a very dark world. what if all parents spent a little more time hugging their kids instead of turning on the electric babysitters. what if we raised our sons to be gentlemen and our daughters to be ladies? what if we truly focused on our marriages and our families? the best way we can honor those lives lost in Connecticut is to raise our children in God's love. raise them to see the world through His eyes. raise them to be thankful for all the blessings we have.

i know that was quite a tirade, but i needed to get it out of my brain. i kept trying to type out my thankful list and it just wouldn't come. I'm feeling better for clearing my head, so if you are still with me and not wanting to string me up-then please feel free to join me for some thankfulness.

I AM THANKFUL FOR:

1. the ability to speak my mind- i am grateful that i live somewhere that i can speak freely about God and my faith. there are many who are put to death for such a thing

2. love- i am thankful for the love that God felt for me to send his son for me.

3.  my family- i am thankful that i am so blessed with the love that they give me.

4.  freedom- to live how i choose and worship how i choose

5. friendship- especially those that pray for me so regularly

6.  my hubby- tomorrow we will celebrate 14 years marriage

7.  my health- I'm getting healthier by the day and i am glad that God has given me the opportunity to do so

8.  cool weather- it is finally cool here

9.  hot tea- warms me up inside and out

10. the ability to cook- tomorrow we will buy everything needed for the tamale feast for Christmas

i am thankful that i get to share my love of Christ with all who read this