i'm not crazy, i'm just a little impaired

ok, so i feel i need to share. tomorrow afternoon is my first drs. appointment, and i am really nervous. crazy huh. i mean i've had two babies, this isn't anything new, but i still find myself with butterflies in my stomach and it isn't the summer sausage and cheese i had for lunch. i'm currently about 11 weeks or so. that means we should be able to hear a heartbeat tomorrow. the problem is my miscarriage happened at 11 weeks and i find myself dreading the absence of the tiny thud-thud. i just don't know if i could do that again, and the hubby won't be able to attend the appointment because of work related issues. so if there isn't a thud-thud i will be the only one to know. i know this is irrational, but still i dread it. my wonderful friend amazon is keeping the girls for me, so i can go to the appointment. she watched the girls yesterday so i could get my blood panel done. anywho, this has been eating at me for the past few days and i needed to get it off my chest. on a happy note i am almost finished with my apron for the hot mamas swap. i'm also knitting a baby blanket for a friend's baby shower in 2 weeks. my mom's coming up for the weekend and has agreed to watch the girls, so the hubby and i can have a wee date. she's going on the church trick or treating hayride with us on friday evening, and we're excited to have her. well, i will have news good or not so good on my thankful thursday tomorrow. take care and have a wonderful wednesday.